How Not Surprising: Karma Haunts Baseball

Here is a list off the top of my head of 3 of the most unsurprising "shocking" news stories in recent memory:

1) Paris Hilton made sex tapes. (still funny)
2) Sarah Palin is now a contributor to Fox News
3) Mark McGwire (dramatic pause).... was on steroids for the better part of the 90's , including the 1998 season when he hit 70 home runs breaking Roger Maris' record that had stood for 37 years to that point.

This ad ran during the 90's and featured Big Mac's biceps that even people in the WWE looked at and were like "That dude is on 'roids." Look at this again and think ' This is a baseball player??' Not that ball players cant be athletic and muscular, but this guy's arms are circus like.

There will be so much written, blogged on, and talked about this for probably the next 3 months. And somewhere Tiger Woods is throwing up tons of fist pumps in glory because were about to all give Mark McGwire a lashing. This one is going to be pretty rough considering most logical fans have convicted him long ago of being way to gigantic in 1998 to not have tarnished the home run record, especially after his 2005 congressional testimony where he didn't deny he used but stated "I'm not here to talk about the past." Its a congressional panel on steroids there ,Mark, they aren't trying to get your forecasts for the economy.

Of course the obvious issues of what to do with his records, statistics, hall of fame candidacy, how this affects other players linked to steroids (hey there Barry Bonds), and if he is even fit to be a hitting coach with the Cardinals which would kind of be like cheating on you income taxes for 10 years then getting a job with the IRS.

But the thought in my mind is this... Baseball needed the McGwire/ Sosa HR chase of 1998 to bring back its fans and revenue after the 1994 strike. The establishment all knew it, the owners, commissioner, and General Managers. Baseball was desperate for attention and slutted itself out by ignoring obvious drug problems and ethics issues in the sport to maximize its profits. Gee, where have we seen this behavior before? Oh yeah, Enron, Worldcom, AIG, Lehman Brothers, etc. So while there was a quick flash of brilliance, the reputation of all players in the Steroid Era is right up there with those infamous businesses that deceived the public because they thought no one would ever find out and they would never be caught.

Funny thing is, everyone always gets caught. Now baseball is going to have to figure out how on earth they are going to deal with this issues. Its the sport that places the largest emphasis on numbers and records, so how will they rectify everything from numbers to wins to hall of famers from the mid 1980's- early 2000's.

Maybe Bud Selig can meet with CEO's of Goldman Sachs, GM, and Bank of America to figure out how to do some damage control. As a lifelong baseball fan, I put Selig in the same category as these clowns. Accountability goes all the way to the top and being complacent in the 90's to get fans and money back into the game is coming back to haunt the game now. Today's game is cleaned up , but as for the dreaded 'Steroids Era' unfortunately many of our favorite players and memories are tarnished forever, and now we all are left to wonder how to pick up the pieces.

Its a sad day for baseball fans, especially thinking of how we were all duped into thinking that 1998 was actually legitimate.

Arenas v. Tiger in the Dumbass-Off!

Possibly the most entertaining debate in the current sports world has to be:
"Who is the bigger dumbass.... Tiger Woods or Gilbert Arenas?"

I will argue for both and then come to my thrilling decision and winner of the coveted
2009/2010 Jon Gosselin Cup, which the winner proudly gets to display.

Gilbert Arenas: So you're a $100 million + professional athlete. You are known as a character and the NBA's Chad Ochocinco. You produce superstar numbers on a lousy team but still are the face of the franchise in a big NBA market. So how do you go from that to "I'm bringing more firearms into my workplace than Keeanu Reeves in The Matrix?" Im still not sure.
Allegedly, the incident in question was Arenas' misguided attempt at a hilarious joke called Watch Me Throw Away My Career.
As an aside, would that not be an amazing NBC primetime show? Watch as America votes for either Michael Richard's 'He's a N^%$#@' rant versus Governor Mark Sanford's 'My Argentinian lover is my soulmate, not my wife' press conference! Ok back to Arenas.
There is no place in this country short of a firing range and any job in Texas where you aren't fired on the spot for bringing a gun into the workplace. Joke or not, Arenas transports guns from Virginia to DC ( a federal offense), into a public gathering place (even worse...), where he works (game over.) This is one of the top players in the league!

Courtesy www.sitv.com

Apparently it was too boring to earn hundreds of millions in contract money and endorsements, so let's risk it all to scare the bejesus out of my teammates!!! Consider this one of the dumbest moves in sports history.

Tiger Woods: "And in this corner... 6'3 from Stanford University... Ladies and Gentlemen.. CONQUERING WAITRESSES FROM VEGAS TO PERKINS... THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF THE NIGHT.... TIIIIIIIGGGGGGGEEERRRRR " KISS MY MILLIONS AND SWEDISH WIFE GOODBYE" WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSS!!!!!!"
Oh, that didnt play in your head??? Just think of Bob Shepard of Yankee Stadium announcing that.... it doesn't get old.

When the New York Post can make a calendar of people you've cheated on your wife with, I don't know whether that is abhorrently disgusting or one of the most comedic episodes in modern history. Who has ever fallen this hard in two months? Maybe Kobe, but he was acquitted and much as it kills me, now spends his time winning non-stop. The worst part is no one can look at Tiger and not laugh. I flipped around channels and saw a Tiger Woods piece on advising golfer's on their swings. 2 months ago I would have watched with deep concentration, but now the first time he says " You've got to square up to drive it straight" I lose it. He has lost all credibility, at least for now.

Im sure there will be guys secretly cheering him on, but not vocally. If you doubt me, try to cheer him on and make jokes about his "transgressions" when you are around your wife,fiancee, girlfriend, mother, aunts, or even female acquaintances and watch the look you get. Most every woman will be passionately rooting for him to fail now, which interestingly adds a whole new dynamic to the PGA. Hecklers??? For Tiger???? Who knows but its not like he didnt do it to himself. AT&T, Accenture, Gatorade, and Tag Heuer are all gone. Hopefully his splurging (no pun intended) was worth the hundreds of millions and the family he's given up now.

Champion: Although Arenas has put this season in jeopardy, he will be back for next season and its not exactly like the Wizards are on a championship run. Tiger on the other hand is looking at Mount Everest to overcome to even win one major , let alone touch Nicklaus' record. Think about this, ever wiff on a golf shot because you're wondering where your hands are? Ya, now think where his have been and everything he will be faced with every shot, every round, every tournament when he comes back.
So the winner of the inaugural Jon Gosselin Cup: Tiger, Tiger Woods Ya'll!!